


Been the Best I Can Be

by Stimmbits



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Senior Year Spoilers, Traditions, bitty centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23582587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stimmbits/pseuds/Stimmbits
Summary: Traditions are easier when it's not you going through them. An insight into Bitty's final moments as a Wellie and what all that means.
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Comments: 7
Kudos: 61





	Been the Best I Can Be

It doesn’t feel real even with ice melting into the knees of Bitty’s jeans. His hands rested on center ice waiting for something monumental to happen. A jolt of shock, a plane dropping from the sky, anything to make this moment feel even bigger than it already was. But all that greeted him was the familiar chill of rink and skin, a touch he had memorized as a child. Faber had never been so quiet as he bent over, his tears beating him as he pressed his lips to the ice for the final time. The same place Jack and Shitty had kissed two years ago. That Lardo, Ransom, and Holster had just a year before. He pulled up and felt that same dip in his stomach that greeted him on the crash landing of a jump. The kind that shook his body and made him grit his teeth in success and exhaustion. 

The team welcomed him back with open arms and tears that he wanted to wipe away despite the matching tracks on his own face. He still tried and Nursey pulled his hands away complaining about the cold. Bitty laughed and threatened to fine anyone who made him cry again. A worthless cause since he hasn't stopped crying since he finally got his thesis done. It takes them a while to reach some sort of decorum to climb onto the roof, his ramshackle family huddled under blankets and gorging on junk food. They sprawl in the doorway, their only shelter from the wind, and take the time to bitch about it per tradition like it wasn’t just as cold the year before. 

Bitty looked at the Frogs and was amazed over how much they had changed since the end of his own Freshman year. Nursey sprawled in Dex’s space in an attempt to take half of his blanket. This of course got Dex started but there was no real venom in his words. While their bickering never stopped, they’ve softened in their years together. A truce that could only exist between two people who spent hours in each other’s lives. Who knew them too well to hate them for it. Dex would make a great captain, Bitty knew that, but he also knew Nursey would keep him on his toes for it. It was good for him. 

Chowder was laughing at them. Only jumping in whenever Dex calmed down to get him riled up again. There were scouts at the championship game and discussions happening behind closed doors. Chowder told everyone he wanted to focus on school but they knew what call he was really waiting for. It was hard to ignore the Shark’s hat in the stands, and the way the scout had pulled him aside while the rest of the team got changed. How Chowder had come back grinning so wide they could almost see his permanent retainer. But right now he muffled his laughter in a pillow as Dex turned a deep shade of red, his freckles disappearing in the heat. Nursey pulled out his phone to film the whole thing wondering aloud if this was a new record. 

The sun started to set and their drinking and gossiping turned into begging for stories from their seniors. Bitty told them about his first day at the house and how all he could find was sriracha and used underwear in the cupboards. About how his first true love at Samwell was an oven that worked only half the time and that was being gracious. About Jack...just, about Jack. That brought some good hearted wolf whistling and laughter that a few years ago would have made Bitty’s throat go tight with nerves. Now he laughs along and bumps his shoes on the pavement to get them to quiet back down so Ollie and Wicks could get a turn. Their own moments tracing along another side of Samwell that Bitty never got to see but appreciates hearing about. 

It was dark when some unspoken demand for quiet turned their shouts into whispers. Their stories are more vulnerable as the reality of what tomorrow meant finally sunk in. Bitty rubbed Ollie’s back as he started crying while Wicks drooled on his shoulder already asleep. He regretted not getting closer with them, but that was the reality of living in The Haus. There were your teammates and then there were those you ate, slept, and lived with everyday of your life. He suddenly felt out of time as everyone’s eyes turned towards him and asked how his speech for the Rachel Graham was coming along. The speech that still lay unfinished in his half packed room. There were three deleted attempts sitting in his recycle bin but he kept running into the issue of how do you describe four years of a life in a five minute long speech? How do you explain the importance of a shared cup of coffee at Annie’s and a disgusting Frat Haus to an entire graduating class? 

Shitty had told him to read the top five articles “The Swallow” had written on him before apologizing for leaving them without material. Lardo had suggested a modern dance piece to represent “His Samwell” which garnered Ransom and Holster’s support. Jack, with the only real piece of advice, thought he should write something to his younger self. Someone Bitty had long ago packed away with his ill-fitting polos and ice skates. It was good advice but Bitty had no idea what to do with it. Not when his own journey to become who he was meant doing things his younger self would never imagine doing. Tango saved him by asking what the Rachel Graham thingy was anyway leading to a popcorn based assault and a Samwell history lesson. Bitty was so thankful for that boy. 

When their final conversations spooled into sleepy mumbles of defeat, Bitty hugged the Tadpoles and Waffles goodbye. The Frogs drunkenly sang Samwell fight songs as they walked down Frat Block with Bitty stuck in the middle. Nursey and Chowder screaming in his ears as they demanded everyone, “Lift a cup to the well and maybe you’ll do swell!” A lux bro leaned all the way out of his window to flip them off. Dex shot one back laughing and jumping up the steps to get the door. 

It was Bitty’s last time walking into the Haus as a Samwell student that got him in the end. He curled over the entrance biting his knuckles as hiccups worked their way up his throat. Wicks and Ollie no better as they hugged him. He apologized for not being closer and they told him to shut up before trying to squeeze him to death. They finally got a hold of themselves and Bitty sent everyone to bed, putting himself in charge of dealing with their extra blankets and snacks. He took his time in the kitchen almost feeling sorry for it. He wondered how long until another Wellie with a penchant for baking took his place. He didn’t want such a quality oven to fall to a life of bagel bites and chicken nuggets. He ran his fingers over the stove and smiled at the memory and the ridiculousness of that year. God, he could be so oblivious when he wanted to be. 

The words finally came to him in the darkness of the kitchen while standing there not wanting to go yet. He really thought about the Eric Bittle who had first stepped up those steps and realized that he was still there. Just rebuilt out of something a little tougher, a little more durable, and full of a love he had never expected to hold. He paused on his way to his room and listened to his teammates go through their night routines for probably the final time. He shook his head at himself when even that made him feel teary eyed. He refused to let himself cry over Chowder’s four AM bathroom run. He shut his door with a little too final of a click and sat at his laptop. 

The sun was rising when Bitty finally finished his speech. He set a reminder on his phone to ask Nursey to proofread it after he got some sleep and stretched back glancing at the cap and gown hanging on the back of his door. He was graduating from Samwell in what felt like a few short hours. He waited for nerves and tears to start but none came this time. He felt wrung out but in a good way. It no longer felt like this was the end of something. He was excited to see what life held for him post Samwell. To stop splitting his life between it and Providence and finally settle down with Jack in his-- their condo. Samwell will still be here even when he leaves it behind for the final time. There will be future final games, kisses on center ice, and wellies huddled on a freezing roof. Bittle just hoped that they would get half as much out of it as he did. He saved what he wrote and went to bed.

**Author's Note:**

> I rushed to get this done the moment I finished the last update. It brought up a lot of feelings I felt as a senior athlete going through the motions of last minute traditions. I got into OMGCP right after graduating from high school and actually pushed me to go to college after a gap year. I am really thankful for this webcomic and probably going to cry after every update. Come cry with me at [Zimbites](https://zimbites.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
